There is no doubt that Forgiveness plays a vital role in assisting us to obtain Optimum Health.
Bearing grudges and therefore not forgiving will eventually lead to the manifestation of a serious health problem, as it causes an insidious mental blockage that must be released.
So, we have a choice, forgive as soon as we can, or allow the blockage to fester, which will eventually explode into disease.
Personally, I have in many instances found this very hard to do, but with a little help from my friends I believe progress has and is being made, as I’ve realised how important this is.
Over the years, several of my patients have had cancer, and one theme that permeated throughout was that they were angry, stemming from a person or persons that they felt had wronged them.
Indeed in most cases they had been wronged. However the problem they had at the time, was that they felt vulnerable and took things personally.
Firstly, let’s identify what it means to take full Responsibility for ourselves:
Responsibility begins with the willingness to experience ourselves as Cause. This means that whatever we think, feel, say or do, has nothing to do with anyone or anything outside of ourselves.
How we interpret what happens to us depends on our awareness. There is no one or no thing on the outside to blame, when a seemingly hurtful event occurs. We do of course habitually blame someone outside of us, and this is where our folly begins – we become irritated, angry, and a grudge begins to form, and we cannot let go.
We ponder on the hurtful event, and create a story around this event of ‘injustice’, and make the person wrong, and often refuse to have any contact with them – we sulk.
Everyone will disappoint us at some stage, and depending on how we receive the disappointment, will determine our maturity and generosity in dealing with it.
If we are free enough to let it go in that moment, then we will be blockage free. However, relative to how personally we allow the event to affect us, will determine the depth of the grudge, and the deeper we allow it, the more suffering will be experienced in the future, and our happiness, peace and joy will be disturbed, and will decrease as a result.
To sum up:
We choose our feelings, no one causes them, we do.
The other person may have upset you, and even wronged you, but you are responsible for what you feel – you are the Cause. When you blame you create a blockage.
What you think, feel or say has nothing to do with the outside – it is your choice.
Forgiveness is the key to become free within ourselves, and doesn’t mean the other person’s behaviour was ok, or is off the hook, that person is still responsible for their behaviour.
The deepest meaning of Forgiveness, is to Forget, which is difficult to do. Forgiveness is letting go and releasing all negative beliefs, emotions, assumptions and issues, in effect, letting go of the past, and training ourselves to become more aware of the present, as there is nothing else, as the past has gone, and the future hasn’t happened.
If we all improve our willingness to forgive, the world will become a happier place, our communication with each other will improve, and more love, peace and joy will abound.
Nelson Mandela’s call to his brothers and sisters in South Africa to forgive the perpetrators of Apartheid, was exemplary.
To be willing to forgive shows that a person has a great Generosity of Spirit, and has achieved Emotional Maturity.
K J Ashton, MATCM, LicAc, DipCHM.
A big Heart gives and gives in.
A small Heart takes and takes in.